Because multiple sclerosis (MS) is an erratic chronic illness affecting each person in a unique way, I cannot say how mine is like yours or how it is different. I can tell you where I experience MS in my own body.
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A spindly-legged string bean, I stand in the batter’s box and the count is full. My local automotive-shop-sponsored team uniform is cheap and ill-fitting; my polyester shorts are scratchy and riding up; my red mesh hat is boxy and unbroken. I look to the third base coach, my dad, for direction. Counting on the wild inaccuracy of most fifth-grade pitchers, he tells me to take one.
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I tell Dad, “I bet I can beat you.” He looks older, bigger, slower.
How old am I? Around a time when I am too short to reach the mailbox. A time I play 52-card pickup (child-me eagerly agrees to his question: yes I want to play)! A time when I am his Kimmy Jo from Kokomo. A time when, riding in a car, watching the road pass beneath the window, I believe I can jump out and run. A conceivable feat. Easy. Just like this race.
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My father remembers feeling like the ball was traveling in slow motion and he was frozen in place. My mother remembers it was Father’s Day; every dad through the gate was gifted a pair of boxer shorts. My brother remembers watching old episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show in the waiting room while eating a Whatchamacallit candy bar. My sister was too young to remember anything at all. And I remember thinking, in the split second after the ball smashed into my cheek, “Wow, that hurt. I should probably cry now,” and then I burst into tears.
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I lurched along the rim of the Grand Canyon. With each gust of wind, I planted a foot, steadying myself against certain death. I had come to the canyon with its thousand-foot drops to conquer my adult onset fear of heights.
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In basketball, a team goes into the bonus when their opponent reaches a foul limit. They are awarded a free throw for each foul that follows: a reward for weathering physicality, a chance to improve their odds.
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